The Kobolds of War

This RP is fun and players can chat with each other in any situation, only if they are near enough to each other though...This RP is only for people who like some-what humorous and yet serious campaigns, believe me, if you don't like it, don't bother
Credit toward Rabid_Larry, he inspired me...plus this is my first RPG so please bear with me

Story:
Chapter 1:
The kobolds are mostly friendly, sometimes stupid creatures, but when a few kobolds raided a human city, war broke out, some humans are out there killing kobolds in icy blood, the bloodshed turned into blood lakes, but 6 kobolds (Including me, yup, I'm playing too, but I'll be fair I'll godmod when I want.) will end this war ONCE AND FOR ALL
Now there is a new enemy...the Dark God, yet he at the same time, is an ally, but if he is the God of Darkness, he must not mean anything good...
Our heroes are now face to face with Hell Shadow, the very shadow of hell! he is even stronger than the gold colossus and it looks as though the Dark God is gaining more "Enemy" reputation
Our heroes destroyed Hell Shadow, but his explosion of darkness teleported our heroes to the Dark Realm, perhaps as Kage asked, they will fight their darksides, but how do you defeat yourself...?
Our heroes just defeated theeir dark selves and were SO close to killing the Dark God, now, the world is in an Apocalypse, what can stop it?!
The Dark God is dead diminished, but now Dark Titans have arisen! these god-like Dragons are stronger than ever! Xeanus also had said our heroes are the destined "Holy Warriors", is this prophetic? of course it is! Our heroes must be the last hope of the world, the only ones who can destroy the darkness, our heroes must diminish all darkness before the ultimate darkness can appear in the world, our heroes, nearly even stronger than ever, if they level up, Xeanus can be a Titan Slayer, and our other heroes can also be able to kill the Titans without Kupo needing to make a Soup Titan...
Lucifer, the so called "Prince of Hell" nearly killed our heroes earlier, and apparently Kupo tamed a Dark Dragon Titan, Xeanus also, got a pet, he named the little black dragon, Dameon, Lucifer may also be G4Y!

Chapter 2:
Apparently, once again, Xeanus and Kupo nearly kill each other, where the hell is Korii, and why have I not said a word about pie? Where the f[beep] is Lucifer, and will I stop asking you questions?Finally I update the story, and apparently Lucifer got all pissed off at our heroes and battled them in the dark void, when Kopu teleported them out, it was a long time after Kupo strayed away and was eating his marijuana filled carrots, he apparently though they heklp you see stuff, but, it lets you see stuff that actually ISN'T there, Xeanus is going crazy with Kupo in his "high" state and hes attempting to kill Kupo.

Kobold lifestyle:

We kobolds are calm creatures, aggressive in battle, and love human flesh, kobolds will eat anything to survive, and kobolds are a bit cannibalistic....so...yeeeeeah......please don't eat each other....please don't just don't....you'll get really fat if you do.....nevermind that, forget everything about cannibalism, kobolds can advance to mighty classes, they excel in everything a human could...except for space travel, but kobolds are also friendly with nature at times, if nature hits them, kobolds will hit back harder!

Titans:

If you use a titan heart you become a towering power-house of might, your HP is doubled, and your attack is, the effect is only until you die, a Titan Heart is VERY rare ad should not be taken lightly!

Dragold:

One of the only characters who became this mix of kobold and dragon was Carbon, injecting dragon blood into yourself could turn you into a dragold, although rare but serious side affects may occur: Hostile to all, vomiting, death.

About Pets: Your best friends, your companions for life, these mighty little creatures level up with you, when you get a pet, lower level than you, it automatically levels up to your level, the owner rolls his/her pet's stats to a reasonable amount. A pet grows up by either feeding them a lot, or game days...

Rules: (Updated)
1. I'm the DM
2. If you die, you become a lost soul, if you die as one, you can re-roll another kobold, the players will vote if he stays in the game or not, including me.
3. There is no spoon
4. Pie is yummy
5. Don't type in TOO much random stuff
6. No super uber abilities
7. You can have only 1 special attack
SUPER SPECIAL RULES!
1. Nothing over PG-13...that means NO SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE STUFF! >.> <.< v.v ^.^ I'm looking at you, everyone...

2. NO PROTECTION, SUCH AS NUT PROTECTION! >.>---Shadow

3. Obey all rules.

4. EVERYBODY DO THE HAMSTER DANCE!

Races:
Kobold, Lost Soul-if you die, you now become a lost soul, you have 1 chance to get Restored, or if you die as a soul, you are dead forever and you gotta re-roll NOTE: You keep all your stats as a soul
Titan-A race that can only be unlocked to a kobold if he/she uses a Titan Heart: Drop Rate- 10%

Classy Classes:

Warrior: A mighty class with high strength and HP, a lack of Intellect but great at killing things...

Bard: A fragile class with singing/music playing skills, they can sing healing, cursing, positive, and negative songs

Mage: A magic caster with freaking high intellect, but....yeah....mediocre HP, but you won't be a piece of glass fragile...also you can cast devastating spells

Rogue: A class with HIGH Agility, fragile, but silent AND deadly, he can poison enemies and steal stuff

Archer: A class that has high AGI and decent HP, he/she can arrows and unlike other classes at a low level, they can have the ability to attack multiple enemies

Wheres the Beef?! Chef: No, not the kind from South Park, he/she can make food to heal allies and harm enemies, like 5 year old beef..and yummy chicken soup...yup....

Titan Slayer: It is an evolution of a warrior class, his HP is increased and he is even more devastating. (Only at level 5)

Ultima Chef: It is an evolution of Chef, he can make even more foods than ever, he also gains the Special: Chef of the Apocalypse, but can't be used very often at all. (Only at level 5)

Blood Ranger: The evolution of an archer class, his bows are stronger, his HP is more decent, his agility can barely be matched. (Only at level 5)

Dracomacer: The evolution of a mage, he can now be strong in Melee Damage, and his magic is also more devastating, though, still a small increase in HP. (Only at level 5)

Assassin: The evolution of a rogue, they are quieter, and deadlier, with a small increase in their HP, their AGI makes up for it. (Only at level 5)

Drama King/Queen: The evolution of a bard, now he/she has the ability to act, don't ask me how, but they, like songs, only stronger, are positive, or negative effects, plus an increase to HP. (Only at level 5)

Warlock: This demonic summoner of demons and caster of darkness can only be a man, he can grow in power by stealing souls and making others suffer.

Witch: This caster of polymorph and user of mighty ice magic can only be a female, she can transform enemies into little critters.

Druid: A protector of nature, a shapeshifter of animals, this class can adapt to any climate, and he is also a bit overpowered.

Shaman: These lost kobold shaman are mostly overpowered, this class can set down totems, this class excels in all stats, this class can summon, set totems, use melee, use magic, eat puppies, and kill your mom!

More classes to come...

Sheet:
(I'll use mine as an example)
Name: Xeanus
Nickname (Optional): Blood-Blade
Class: Warrior/Bard
Race: Kobold
Armor: Brand New Chain mail (full set)
Weapon(s): Soul Eater, Soul Eater II
Items: Pie, chicken, picture frame, pet rock
Personality: Soft hearted, yet angered easily, he is crazy at times and feels remorse, he also LOVES pie. If something REALLY epic happens, he goes crazy. He gets serious and more serious as his adventure becomes more frightening and bloody, he takes countless care for his pet dragon and takes Kupo as his best friend.
Story: When he was young his parents abandoned him, left to die a few orcs took "care" of him, eating nothing but ROUGH meat and thick oatmeal, the orcs also taught him the way of bloodshed, Xeanus quickly learned how to use a blade, his blade came from the 2 Male Orcs, if he was scared the orcs would scream at him, if he was hungry after a meal from the orcs he'd have to look for food, he now wants to fight in the war and become a true warrior...
Spells/abilities:
Bloodshed: Wound all of the enemies making them bleed for 3 rounds.
Gore: Shove your sword into the enemy, dealing damage.
Slice: Slice the enemy at a more violent way than a normal attack.
Rage: Deal 100% extra damage for the next 4 rounds.
Omnislash (Level 5/5): deal a massive combo of attacks to the enemy...15 hit combo, which means roll a die 15 times.
Rage Slash: Go into a blood thirsty but short rage, hitting the enemy for 3X the damage.
Soul Slash: Soul Eater devours the enemies soul. (Only once per day)
Song of Epic: Play/sing an epic song increasing party's stats by 5 for 5 rounds.
Song of Life: Play/sing a melodious song, healing party for 10 HP.
Song of Valor: Play/sing a song of valor, increasing all damage of allies by 10.
Special: Carnage: Become a blood thirsty warrior, + to damage, if HP is critical, + to HP

Pet Name: Dameon
Nickname (Optional): Blood Fire
Race: Dragonkin (Titan)
Armor: Baby Scales
Age: Young
Size: Between Medium and Large
Abilities:
Fireblast: Unleash a blast of fire, having a chance to knocking out the enemy, and deal great damage.
Look Ma! I can defend people!: Dameon has grown big enough for me to barely fit into his mouth, all damage directed to me will be directed to Dameon.

Melee Damage: 20
Ranged Damage: 30

Pet Stats:

Level: 5
HP: 35/35
SP: 21/21

STR: 32
AGI: 25
INT: 15


My Stats:
Level: 5
HP: 43/43
SP: 19/19
STR: 29
AGI: 15
INT: 7
Melee Damage: 15+15+29=59

(No uber weapons or armor, no uber items, and no more than 4 abilities at level 1)
(I'll roll your stats)
(The story will build up as we play)
(EXTRA RULE ABOVE)

All credit goes to Xaldin of the Urealms forums.


If you didn't have time to read that, here's a summary:

This RP is mad. You can do anything you want, whenever you want. Kobolds are creatures that look like this:

http://media.putfile.com/Kobold-Kreator-2-demo

try this. It shows you what Kobolds look like.

that's big!

((Looks good and confusing XD))

((IT WON'T BE ONCE YOU START DOING IT ))

((-thinks wether to accept-))

((YOU KNOW YOU WANT TOO... ))

((Not really cause im Ebil :k))

((It doesn't matter what you are... that just makes the game more fun))

((I Will leave D4L To decide.... Ok))

((OK))

Thankyou!!

((Kobolds also have candles on their heads *shot* anyway, I might join when I'm less braindead.))

((Naw, that's only the Kobolds in wow. kobold is german for something. Can't remember what though...))